15 Ways to Get Your Kids to Eat Better
Every single day, I deal with picky eaters both big and small. I'm the mother of 7-year-old triplets, all of whom have very different eating habits; I'm also a dietitian who teaches the professional athletes on the Chicago Bears and Chicago Bulls teams how to improve their diets. Although it's tough to convince a towering basketball player or a 300-pound linebacker that junk food is bad for him, trying to get my kids to eat well can be even more of a challenge. My daughter Kathleen has severe and life-threatening allergies to eggs, peanuts, and tree nuts, and Julia will not eat fresh fruit; luckily, my son, Marty, will try just about anything. Mothers constantly tell me that they feel guilty about their children's diets; they know how important it is to feed their kids healthy foods, but they're just not sure how to do it. Despite my own background in nutrition, I had to go through some trial and error with my triplets. Here are the most important lessons I've learned, which should help you guide your kids to eat better.
- Make a schedule. Children need to eat every three to four hours: three meals, two snacks, and lots of fluids. If you plan for these, your child's diet will be much more balanced and he'll be less cranky, because he won't be famished. I put a cooler in the car when I'm out with my kids and keep it stocked with carrots, pretzels, yogurt, and water so we don't have to rely on fast food.
- Plan dinners. If thinking about a weekly menu is too daunting, start with two or three days at a time. A good dinner doesn't have to be fancy, but it should be balanced: whole-grain bread, rice, or pasta; a fruit or a vegetable; and a protein source like lean meat, cheese, or beans. I often make simple entree soups or Mexican chili ahead of time and then freeze it; at dinnertime, I heat it up and add whole-grain bread and a bowl of cut-up apples or melon to round out the meal.
- Don't become a short-order cook. A few years ago, I got into a bad habit. I'd make two suppers -- one that I knew the kids would like and one for my husband and me. It was exhausting. Now I prepare one meal for everybody and serve it family-style so the kids can pick and choose what they want. Children often mimic their parents' behavior, so one of these days, they'll eat most of the food I serve them.
- Bite your tongue. As hard as this may be, try not to comment on what or how much your kids are eating. Be as neutral as possible. Remember, you've done your job as a parent by serving balanced meals; your kids are responsible for eating them. If you play food enforcer -- saying things like "Eat your vegetables" -- your child will only resist.
- Introduce new foods slowly. Children are new-food-phobic by nature. I tell my kids that their taste buds sometimes have to get used to a flavor before they'll like the taste. A little hero worship can work wonders too. Marty refused to even try peas until I told him that Michael Jordan eats his to stay big and strong. Now Marty eats peas all the time.
- Dip it. If your kids won't eat vegetables, experiment with dips. Kathleen tried her first vegetable when I served her a thinly cut carrot with some ranch salad dressing. My children also like hummus, salsa, and yogurt-based dressing.
- Make mornings count. Most families don't eat enough fiber on a daily basis, and breakfast is an easy place to sneak it in. I make up batches of whole-grain pancake and waffle batter that last all week. For a batch that serves five, sift together 2 cups whole-wheat pastry flour, 4 tsp. baking powder, 1/2 tsp. salt, and 2 Tbs. sugar. When you're ready to cook, mix in 2 Tbs. ground flax meal, 2 cups water, 3 Tbs. canola oil, 1/4 tsp. vanilla, and 2 Tbs. applesauce.
- Sneak in soy. Even if your kids don't have milk allergies, soy milk is a terrific source of healthy phytochemicals. My kids don't like soy milk but don't notice when it's hidden in a recipe. I use the low-fat, calcium-fortified kind in some recipes that call for milk, such as oatmeal, mashed potatoes, and sauces.
- Sprinkle some sugar. Julia eats her cooked carrots with a bit of brown sugar, and I mix a little root beer into her prune juice to make prune-juice soda. Kathleen and Marty like a sprinkle of sugar on their fruit. I know that they'll eventually outgrow this need for extra sweetness, but in the meantime, they're eating fruits and vegetables.
- Get kids cooking. If your children become involved in choosing or preparing meals, they'll be more interested in eating what they've created. Take them to the store, and let them choose produce for you. If they're old enough, allow them to cut up vegetables and mix them into a salad. Although Julia refuses to eat fresh fruit, she and I make banana or apple muffins together -- and she always eats them once they're done.
- Cut back on junk. Remember, you -- not your kids -- are in charge of the foods that enter the house. By having fewer junk foods around, you'll force your children to eat more fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and dairy products.
- Allow treats. Having less healthy foods occasionally keeps them from becoming forbidden -- and thus even more appealing. We call candy, soda, and cookies "sometimes" foods. I generally buy only healthy cereals such as Cheerios and Raisin Bran, but I let my kids have sugary cereals when they visit their grandparents or when we're on vacation. And I treat them to McDonald's for lunch every so often.
- Have fun. The more creative the meal is, the greater the variety of foods my kids eat. We make smiley-face pancakes and give foods silly names. (Broccoli florets are "baby trees" or "dinosaur food.") Anything mini is always a hit too. I often use cookie cutters to turn toast into hearts and stars, which the children love.
- Be a role model. If you're constantly on a diet or have erratic eating habits, your children will grow up thinking that this sort of behavior is normal. Be honest with yourself about the kinds of food messages you're sending. Trust your body to tell you when you're hungry and when you're full, and your kids will learn to do the same.
- Adjust your attitude. Realize that what your kids eat over time is what matters. Having popcorn at the movies or eating an ice-cream sundae are some of life's real pleasures. As long as you balance these times with smart food choices and physical activity, your children will be fine.
School...
When Your Child Refuses to Go to School
Everyday, all across the nation, as many as 1 in 4 children refuse to go to school. But while the reasons can range from a looming test to an ill-placed pimple, “school refusal,” formerly known as school phobia, is an actual anxiety-based disorder. Surprisingly, school refusal is more prevalent than some better known child disorders like ADHD, but, because many children are vague in their complaints and unable to verbalize what's making them anxious, it's sometimes dismissed as typical childhood willfulness. However, the effects of recurring school refusal can be far-reaching for your child's education.
So, where's the line between what's normal and what's not? "You need to look at whether it's affecting the child or family's daily functioning," explains Christopher Kearney, Ph.D., director of the UNLV Child School Refusal and Anxiety Disorders Clinic. In other words, if a child's grades are suffering or a parent's job is in jeopardy from frequent absences, it's time to look closely at the issue. Kearney adds that parents should be listening carefully to children who say they can't go to school because of "vague, untestable kinds of things like stomaches or headaches." While these somatic complaints alone don't necessarily indicate school refusal, there may be deeper problems if combined with general complaints about school, talks of threats at school and chronic absenteeism.
According to Kearney, "there is a subtle difference between school refusal and school refusal behavior." The kid who ditches school to hang out with her friends is exhibiting school refusal behavior, which can be nothing more than a phase brought on by peer attitudes or a sense of rebellion. But the child who clings to her mother's leg, screaming at the thought of having to enter the school building, is showing signs of school refusal, or "anxiety-based absenteeism."
However, the label doesn't matter nearly as much as getting a child back into the classroom. According to Maryann Roth, CAS, a school psychologist and guidance counselor, it's about "making sure the kid gets to school no matter how hard it is." Working closely with school officials and possibly a therapist to create a plan is a necessary step. Here are some key components to creating a successful plan:
Everyday, all across the nation, as many as 1 in 4 children refuse to go to school. But while the reasons can range from a looming test to an ill-placed pimple, “school refusal,” formerly known as school phobia, is an actual anxiety-based disorder. Surprisingly, school refusal is more prevalent than some better known child disorders like ADHD, but, because many children are vague in their complaints and unable to verbalize what's making them anxious, it's sometimes dismissed as typical childhood willfulness. However, the effects of recurring school refusal can be far-reaching for your child's education.
So, where's the line between what's normal and what's not? "You need to look at whether it's affecting the child or family's daily functioning," explains Christopher Kearney, Ph.D., director of the UNLV Child School Refusal and Anxiety Disorders Clinic. In other words, if a child's grades are suffering or a parent's job is in jeopardy from frequent absences, it's time to look closely at the issue. Kearney adds that parents should be listening carefully to children who say they can't go to school because of "vague, untestable kinds of things like stomaches or headaches." While these somatic complaints alone don't necessarily indicate school refusal, there may be deeper problems if combined with general complaints about school, talks of threats at school and chronic absenteeism.
According to Kearney, "there is a subtle difference between school refusal and school refusal behavior." The kid who ditches school to hang out with her friends is exhibiting school refusal behavior, which can be nothing more than a phase brought on by peer attitudes or a sense of rebellion. But the child who clings to her mother's leg, screaming at the thought of having to enter the school building, is showing signs of school refusal, or "anxiety-based absenteeism."
However, the label doesn't matter nearly as much as getting a child back into the classroom. According to Maryann Roth, CAS, a school psychologist and guidance counselor, it's about "making sure the kid gets to school no matter how hard it is." Working closely with school officials and possibly a therapist to create a plan is a necessary step. Here are some key components to creating a successful plan:
- Investigate what's going on at school. As Roth says, if "it's an issue of bullying you need to find out what's really going on." Once you know whether your child's complaint is a valid one, it's easier to work with your child around the issue, both in and outside of school.
- Coordinate with the school. You can't do it alone. Whether it's arranging to have someone meet you on the playground to escort your child into school or trying, as Kearney suggests, "to ease the amount of makeup work," it's crucial that the school plays a role in integrating your child into the classroom.
- Set a baseline expectation. Roth and Kearney agree that having a child in school for any amount of time is better than having him at home. Though a child may only come to school for only an hour, or sit in the lobby all day, "it's a lot easier to get them back into the regular classroom from that point," says Kearney.
- Make it less fun to be at home. If your child knows he can sit at home and play video games during the school day, the incentive to stay home is greater than the incentive to be at school. Create a contract, set some boundaries and make it more worth his while to go to school.
Bedtime....
HOW TO GET YOUR CHILD TO BEG TO GO TO BED!!!
by Margaret Saunders
As you know, it is not always easy getting your child to go to bed, let alone staying there and then falling asleep. Your child may be the “stay-up late, no matter what” type. You know, its ten o’clock and you’re bleary eyed but he is wide awake and bushy tailed. Or its 3 a.m. and it’s the fifth time your angel has woken up and called for you from her bed. Perhaps it seven-thirty, bedtime and your “adored one” won’t budge from the television set and lounge room. Or, all of these scenarios apply to your household or its something else and you too are drop dead tired. Sound familiar?
It was like this too in our house, and on top of all this one of my daughters liked to wake up at 4.30 a.m. and that was the time she expected us to start our day, and for a while we did. However, the time came when all this stopped and I invented a fool-proof never-fail-go-to-bed-routine which also included both my daughters falling asleep fast! Yes, a dream come true – for us all!
It did take a while, but not forever, and it did happen and now daughter number 2 who is 7 goes to bed happily at 6.00 p.m. and is asleep by 7.00 p.m. without a fuss and her older sister who is nearly 11 goes to bed at 7.30 pm. and is asleep by 8.30 p.m. Night after night after night!!
I have the philosophy that there is no guarantee that I will have my daughters tomorrow. Things can happen. Just as life is given to us it can be taken away. I use the attitude that this day may be the last I have with them, and that this night may be the last one that I put them to bed. And that if this is the last night I have with them, well I want them to have bedtime bliss and fun at bedtime. When I wake up I want to remember that the last moment I had with them was a happy one.
So with this in mind, I make going to bed fun. Sometimes there is a treat for my child by her bed. Sometimes I may do something amusing, like dress her favorite teddy in her pajamas and have her tucked into my daughter’s bed. I use a lot of humor. We all laugh a lot at bedtime, and my routines and activities are strictly adhered to over and over again and they are now embedded into my children’s subconscious minds.
So if your child won’t leave the television set at 7.30 p.m. why not try horse backing him all through the house with outrageous horse noises and jokes until you eventually get him to the bedroom.
If it’s the fifth time your angel has woken up calling out for you why not sing in your sleepiest voice a go-to-sleep song that you have made up just for her as you tuck her in one more time.
And if it is ten o’clock and your child is still wide awake and bushy tailed this is the time to get serious about considering a bedtime routine to get him into bed at say 9.00 p.m. for a week, 8.30 p.m. for the next week, 8.00 p.m. for the next week and then 7.30 p.m. for the rest of the year.
This takes planning and tenacity and courage, which is definitely worth while which eventually leads to the “in bed by 7.30 p.m. and asleep by 8.00 p.m.” stage and you all become wide awake and bushy tailed at 7.30 a.m. and ready for your day.
When I did this for my eldest daughter the routine fell into place so well that there is one memorable night that she actually asked to go to bed early and it was a Saturday night. It was 6.30 p.m. Who were we to refuse such a request. It sounded too good to be true. And to top it all off she was fast asleep before 7.00 p.m. We had the rest of the night all to ourselves. Heaven and bliss! Until … we remembered that this was the night daylight savings was changing over and the clocks were to go back an hour. She had sort of gone to bed at 5.30 p.m! Oops!
By now it was too late to change things, and we braced ourselves, and yes, she woke at 5.30 a.m. bright eyed and wanting to start her day. So we did!
There were other times when she wanted to go to bed early, and that was OK with us, but, when it came to daylight savings change over we always took note of what time she went to bed.
Both my daughters really adore a “go to sleep song”. I made one up and with individual words just for them. I am not musical, I do not sing well, but when I sing their song, especially at night I sing it very, very sleepily and the words are very, very sleep orientated. I cannot recommend this enough especially if your child is a baby or very young. After you have sung your own song a few times, your child will recognize that this is a go-to-sleep time and it is especially handy, if your child has woken in the middle of the night, had a bad dream, is restless or is sick. It can also be used to relax your children as you are driving in stress inducing traffic.
These are just a few ideas and suggestions for getting your child to beg to go to bed. Here’s a summary
Step by Step
1. Use the attitude as if this is the last night you may have with your child (but of course don't tell your child this!)
2. Make going to bed fun, use humor, jokes, horse-back rides or something unusual or funny on or in their bed.
3. If your child stays up really late, start a go to bed routine, and put him to bed half an hour earlier each time on a weekly basis until he is in bed at a designated time of say 7.30 p.m. (More details of how to do this are in my manuals – see below.)
4. Make up your own tune and add your own words and sing it to your child or children in a really, really sleepy voice when they are in bed.
Please do not under value the simplicity of these suggestions and ideas which work best by implementing them over and over again.
by Margaret Saunders
As you know, it is not always easy getting your child to go to bed, let alone staying there and then falling asleep. Your child may be the “stay-up late, no matter what” type. You know, its ten o’clock and you’re bleary eyed but he is wide awake and bushy tailed. Or its 3 a.m. and it’s the fifth time your angel has woken up and called for you from her bed. Perhaps it seven-thirty, bedtime and your “adored one” won’t budge from the television set and lounge room. Or, all of these scenarios apply to your household or its something else and you too are drop dead tired. Sound familiar?
It was like this too in our house, and on top of all this one of my daughters liked to wake up at 4.30 a.m. and that was the time she expected us to start our day, and for a while we did. However, the time came when all this stopped and I invented a fool-proof never-fail-go-to-bed-routine which also included both my daughters falling asleep fast! Yes, a dream come true – for us all!
It did take a while, but not forever, and it did happen and now daughter number 2 who is 7 goes to bed happily at 6.00 p.m. and is asleep by 7.00 p.m. without a fuss and her older sister who is nearly 11 goes to bed at 7.30 pm. and is asleep by 8.30 p.m. Night after night after night!!
I have the philosophy that there is no guarantee that I will have my daughters tomorrow. Things can happen. Just as life is given to us it can be taken away. I use the attitude that this day may be the last I have with them, and that this night may be the last one that I put them to bed. And that if this is the last night I have with them, well I want them to have bedtime bliss and fun at bedtime. When I wake up I want to remember that the last moment I had with them was a happy one.
So with this in mind, I make going to bed fun. Sometimes there is a treat for my child by her bed. Sometimes I may do something amusing, like dress her favorite teddy in her pajamas and have her tucked into my daughter’s bed. I use a lot of humor. We all laugh a lot at bedtime, and my routines and activities are strictly adhered to over and over again and they are now embedded into my children’s subconscious minds.
So if your child won’t leave the television set at 7.30 p.m. why not try horse backing him all through the house with outrageous horse noises and jokes until you eventually get him to the bedroom.
If it’s the fifth time your angel has woken up calling out for you why not sing in your sleepiest voice a go-to-sleep song that you have made up just for her as you tuck her in one more time.
And if it is ten o’clock and your child is still wide awake and bushy tailed this is the time to get serious about considering a bedtime routine to get him into bed at say 9.00 p.m. for a week, 8.30 p.m. for the next week, 8.00 p.m. for the next week and then 7.30 p.m. for the rest of the year.
This takes planning and tenacity and courage, which is definitely worth while which eventually leads to the “in bed by 7.30 p.m. and asleep by 8.00 p.m.” stage and you all become wide awake and bushy tailed at 7.30 a.m. and ready for your day.
When I did this for my eldest daughter the routine fell into place so well that there is one memorable night that she actually asked to go to bed early and it was a Saturday night. It was 6.30 p.m. Who were we to refuse such a request. It sounded too good to be true. And to top it all off she was fast asleep before 7.00 p.m. We had the rest of the night all to ourselves. Heaven and bliss! Until … we remembered that this was the night daylight savings was changing over and the clocks were to go back an hour. She had sort of gone to bed at 5.30 p.m! Oops!
By now it was too late to change things, and we braced ourselves, and yes, she woke at 5.30 a.m. bright eyed and wanting to start her day. So we did!
There were other times when she wanted to go to bed early, and that was OK with us, but, when it came to daylight savings change over we always took note of what time she went to bed.
Both my daughters really adore a “go to sleep song”. I made one up and with individual words just for them. I am not musical, I do not sing well, but when I sing their song, especially at night I sing it very, very sleepily and the words are very, very sleep orientated. I cannot recommend this enough especially if your child is a baby or very young. After you have sung your own song a few times, your child will recognize that this is a go-to-sleep time and it is especially handy, if your child has woken in the middle of the night, had a bad dream, is restless or is sick. It can also be used to relax your children as you are driving in stress inducing traffic.
These are just a few ideas and suggestions for getting your child to beg to go to bed. Here’s a summary
Step by Step
1. Use the attitude as if this is the last night you may have with your child (but of course don't tell your child this!)
2. Make going to bed fun, use humor, jokes, horse-back rides or something unusual or funny on or in their bed.
3. If your child stays up really late, start a go to bed routine, and put him to bed half an hour earlier each time on a weekly basis until he is in bed at a designated time of say 7.30 p.m. (More details of how to do this are in my manuals – see below.)
4. Make up your own tune and add your own words and sing it to your child or children in a really, really sleepy voice when they are in bed.
Please do not under value the simplicity of these suggestions and ideas which work best by implementing them over and over again.